Am I Missing Something Big Here?

Being one of the most important people I know, I receive sometimes close to hundreds of e-mails in a day. The weird thing is that most of them have to do with pharmaceutical drugs that aren't necessarily appropriate for women.


(This is a picture from our trip out west -- I'm cleaning up my e-mails along with some old photos on my laptop.)


The subject line of these e-mails usually reads something like, "Hi, Keep Her Satisfied All Night Long."

Not really, mostly, something like this:

"Hi, keeepe her satesfyd night all along."

It's obvious these people certainly weren't up studying the English language all night long, that's for sure.

I don't know why I keep getting these things. Is my name on a big long list somewhere?

Who is "Her" and who are these people sending these e-mails saying "Hi" like they know me?

(Here is a picture I found of the Space Needle when we went to Seattle a couple of years ago.)

The one that popped up today was from GOLDINAANTHONY and was entitled "Havee a lifee-loong holdiay with..."

I would ask who responds to these e-mails but I'm not sure I really want to know the answers to any of these hard questions.

Obviously, however, someone must be responding to them because when I open my e-mail, I am never let down. There they all are, coming on strong.

Satisfying all night; spamming all day.

In general, I believe that resorting to talking about matters of such delicate nature for the sake of comedic value is lame. So, don't get me wrong. I am totally, completely, serious.

People need all kinds of medicine to help them sleep, control their cholesterol, perk them up, whatever.

I just wonder why people wood take advice from an e-mail and then wood purchase a remedy over the internet. What happened to using the telephone?

Someone has to be buying into this stuff because they make it into such a big deal.

I'm so tired of it though. I feel like if I added up all the time it takes me to delete these things, it would be like, four hours. And I think after four hours, it's concerning and could be an indication of a greater problem.

(This is a recent photo of the Washington Monument. I think photos like this are kind of dumb considering you can just get a
post card but someone insisted on taking it.)

Somehow, I just know that talking about this issue is going to make it worse, though. I think men would say that.

It's enough to drive a person to drink.
(That was funny...like I need something to DRIVE me to drink.)

The Y Chromosome Who Lives In My House says that he doesn't know anything about this stuff and anyway, he's signed a confidentiality clause. What?

Am I missing something big here?

There are plenty of other products on the market I might be interested in.

For example, where would I find one of these? It's a really cool light fixture with plastic goldfish bouncing around inside (or swimming upstream, I guess) and it changes colors. I never get any e-mails about these.

Now click here.